How do I begin to explain Kristen Stewart?
Kristen Stewart is flawless.
Her hair just flows like dark satin.
She did a car commercial… in 1999.
Her favorite movie is The Shining.
One time she was spotted getting cozy with Rob on a plane.
And he told her she was pretty.
One time she flipped the paps off… it was awesome.

Eric : You’re Isabella Swan, the new girl. Hi, I’m Eric, the eyes and ears of this place. Anything you need, tour guide, lunch date, shoulder to cry on?
Bella : I’m really kind of the more suffer-in-silence type.
Eric : Good headline for your feature. I’m on the paper, and you’re news, baby, front page.
Bella : No, I’m not. *stutters* You… Please don’t have any sort of…
Eric : Chillax. No feature.
Bella : Okay, thanks.
Eric: Cool?